i’m unjust when i get jealous/ i’m undone when i’m in love/ i’ve lost trust in my own lust/ i’ve grown accustomed to being a dove/ narcissist in the mirror/ simple thoughts in my ear/ feeling less than here/ wishing i could hit clear/ i’ve devolved to fear/ from the things i hear/ what use to scare me/ has come to seize/ when i’m in the ooze/ on the evening news/ what i gotta lose/ from what’s left to use running away/ i’ll call it a day/ what can i say/ i’m always afraid/ i’m blessed for your mind/ you’re a waste of time/ i’m a guest in your eyes/ you’re a mess at best/ i’m stressed in my car/ arguments are hard/ while listening to star/ we never got that far/ when i’m in the ooze/ on the evening news/ what i gotta lose/ from what’s left to use/

i got homework i should be doing/ i got colleges i should be applying to/ i got people i should be talking to/ i got a life i should be living/ i got things i should be getting to/ but i’m busy getting caught up with/ spending my days trying to get with people i’m not interested in/ hours talking to get no where faster/ getting empty at a time where i’m comfortable/ i’m happy at the sight of this/ i’m sappy when it comes to this/ i haven’t laughed in a while/ i haven’t been interested/ i haven’t been interesting/ i’ve been misremembering/ i’m all about myself/ i’ve forgotten how to deal with help/ i got so much to worry about/ i got so much to feel sorry about/ i left my window open to remember the feeling of waiting/ i wrote a note but i’d never do anything with it/ spending my days trying to get with people i’m not interested in/ hours talking to get no where faster/ getting empty at a time where i’m comfortable/

you coughed up at the dinner table/ you held your hands up to your face while it dripped all out/ my breathing short i didn’t know how to react/ i rushed over to help you clean up the mess/ you acted like it wasn’t a big deal/ i was scared that was it/ that i’d seen you for the last time/ it fell out of your hands/ and oozed onto your plate of cake/ mellow out you’d tell me but i’d never tell you the same/ mellow out you’d tell me but i never told you the same/ hollow words left empty in the cold air/ swallowed to hide what i was thinking inside/ words of sympathy get choked up and are hard to find/ take content in my prayers/ i’m not religious but i fucking wish/ hold me preacher man and let have this last dish/ hold me preacher man/ let me pay my way up to your hands/ help my family stay healthy/ let my uncle be a wealthy man/ i smell it on your breath/ i know when you’re close to death/ i figure let us rejoice/ in the little time we have left/ hold me preacher man/ let me pay my way up to your hands/ help my family stay healthy/ let my uncle be a wealthy man/ i don’t want you dead/ all that smoking really gets to your head/

every morning/ i walk through a web/ every morning/ i destroy the home of something smaller than me/ every evening/ i cross my heart and hope that i’m not dead/ every evening/ i clean my teeth of the dreams i kept/ every night/ that web gets rebuilt all over again/ dreaming of nights for me/ sleeping all through my needs/ leaving my lean body/ seeking a cleaner stream/ mornings blur and the nights get worse/ i clean my sleeves of the times that hurt/ adorn my thoughts with twins of ease/ forlorn over things i’ve lost to be/ torn blue cheese and the last block of these/ the end of over finalities/ truncated costs/ fun draining loss/ now find all the trash in your empty balls/ dreaming of nights for me/ sleeping all through my needs/ leaving my lean body/ seeking a cleaner stream/

i’m fed up over wasted time/ i’ve been up since last midnight/ i’d get up if you were mine/ you said what i wish i meant you’re a figment of my own brains design/ a minor stigma over what you’ve signed/

slip ons scuffed/ there’s blood on my leg/ i never felt anything when i said your name/ mismatched socks/ my head close to yours/ the warmth of your bed the silk of your skin/ i hope that i miss you/ for the memories we made/ tough that they’ve been replaced with the times that i hate/ simple in my skin/ single in yours/ a wrinkle of fabric on sheets of dior/ think back on my thoughts/ not too much to hold/ an emptying of basket to close up the case/ tenure of loss/ not something in me/ ten toes down and i’ve forgotten to breathe/ when my hair blows/ on these empty roads/ and the street lamps glow/ when the moon is out/ there’s trash under the bridge/ there’s glass in my tire/ i keep on peddling though/ i keep on letting go/ i’m too scared to love you less and be trapped by my empathy/ tenure of loss/ not something in me/ ten toes down and i’ve forgotten to breathe/ egg me on it’s a fallacy/ legs all up it’s a pregnancy/ cry at me i’ll cry at you/ cry at me ill cry at you/ i’m unsure about certainly/ i’m certain about forever and how it’d never work out that long/ and how it’d never work out that long/ certainty over nothing/ dregs in my coffee reminding me of our conversations/ tenure of loss/ not something in me/ ten toes down and i’ve forgotten to breathe/

petal/ on your gown/ sleep/ in my arms/ love/ me from the outside/ hold/ my head down/ creep/ on my fault line/ fall/ to where your eyes go/ all/ is on the table/ nothing/ will go between this/ RYN: BANG BANG/ GANG FUCK WITH NO COCAINE/ AND WE REALLY FUCK WITH YE/ 36 CHAMBERS YEAH WU TANG/ GREW UP WITH THAT SHIT/ GOLF WANG/ CHERRY BOMB AND WOLF INSANE/ CUBAN JACK SERVING UP THE CANE/ DRAG YOUR CHAIN THROUGH THE BIKING LANE/ BLASTING BLOCKS WITH THE GUCCI MANE/ PULL UP WITH THE WHOLE SHEBANG/ ROLL UP YEAH IT’S MARY JANE/ CALL THIS SHIT LE COUP DE MAIN/ BITCH I GOT THE MARK OF CAIN/ CHOKE WITH YOU MY GOLDEN CHAIN/ AND WHEN YOU FUCKING WITH SOME REAL ONES/ JUST KNOW THIS AIN'T YOUR TERRAIN/ petal/ on your gown/ sleep/ in my arms/ love/ me from the outside/ hold/ my head down/

my resume/ too empty to see/ fornicate/ now we separate/ tie this tourniquet/ lie i’m impotent/ hide behind your eyes/ now fly beneath the clouds/ sleep under the blinds/ talk and wish for sight/ lost in it/ now i’m sinning/ got my reputation in the clinic/ i feel your strange skull/ i feel this awkward lull/ lost in it/ now i’m sinning/ got my reputation in the clinic/ now i’m lost in you/ now i’m lost in... you/ this cant last/ i’m a fucking crash/ let me hydroplane into your past/ i don’t want this any longer/ i don’t want you to get any stronger/ over me/ what you’ve got on me/ what i’m afraid of being/ lost in it/ now i’m sinning/ got my reputation in the clinic/ i feel your strange skull/ i feel this awkward lull/ lost in it/ now i’m sinning/ got my reputation in the clinic/ i feel your strange skull/ i feel this awkward lull/ you say i’m cool/ while holding my face in your hands/ i say you too/ i can’t make eye contact/ your strange skull/ what am i looking for/ your fake eye lashes/ you look like a fucking whore/ feel the beat of my heart/ i’m not bad just a bad person/

sense your glow/ so sweet on me/ left your home/ get caught with me/ echoes of your past/ get buried down last/ lay with me/ stain my house/ say with ease/ what’s come out/ oh im afraid/ to say my thoughts/ rather be with you/ than get caught/ sticking to my dreams/ you know what i mean/ oblique it seems/ but object to being clean/ sense your glow/ so sweet on me/ left your home/ get caught with me/ sticking to my dreams/ you know what i mean/ oblique it seems/ but object to being clean/ sense your glow/ so sweet on me/ left your home/ so lost with me/ get off on my clone/ now i’m stuck in the zone/ i scoffed at my thoughts/ now look where i go/ come to myself/ while looking in the mirror/ id rationalize to help/ it’s just not queer/ normal in my skin/ now what am i to do/ it’s too hot in this car/ i can’t fucking breathe/

i barely know my grandma/ she left when i was twelve/ i remember staying at her house but i don’t remember her that well/ i don’t have close family i don’t share my secrets or my feelings/ when i’m feeling down but i don’t feel like talking a lot/ there’s a thing about life and death/ and life scares me more than death/ the realm of possibilities are endless but that lends itself failure and fuck ups at my own hands/ missing weddings i’ve never been to/ to have boring dreams i’ll confuse with boring times in my later life/ tumors in my brain stem/ crying sometimes on the weekend/ these things are normal but what makes a life normal in the end/ humor at life’s expense/ you gotta laugh if you wanna make it/ rumors of what comes next/ we’ll never know until it makes sense/ funerals and effigies/ random acts that cause messy graves/ it’s all too fast but it’s too slow if you sit back and watch it pass/ my teeth get yellower with everything i say/ my skin gets worse with every passing phrase/ my last thought will be a waste/ then everything will be erased/ i wish i knew my grandma/ or anyone i know won’t last long/ a short bus to get off/ final stop before the crash/ funerals and effigies/ random acts that cause messy graves/ it’s all too fast but it’s too slow if you sit back and watch it pass/ my teeth get yellower with everything i say/ my skin get worse with every passing phrase/ my last thought will be a waste/ then everything will be erased/